Monday, March 26, 2012

Cops Aren't Idiots, They're Just Written That Way

But I'm stylin'!
This is not a cop-bash. It's a TV cop bash. Reality shows may still be all the rage, but give me a police procedural and I'm glued to the boob tube. But why? Why, why, why are the cops so stupid? I don't know much about real police procedure, but I've gotta believe that TV cops are way dumber than real ones.

I understand that a certain amount of artistic license may be necessary for dramatic purposes, but do writers have to make TV cops short-bus stupid? Surely there are real cops across America that are rolling their eyes, pissed off that TV portrays them as clich├ęd numbskulls. Don't get me wrong; there are a few smart cops out there. Detective Kate Beckett on "Castle" is smart, pretty, and tough. Detective Robert Goren on "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" is brilliant. And Detective Jane Timoney (the brilliantly acerbic Maria Bello), late of "Prime Suspect", was the coolest, most realistic female TV cop since Cagney and Lacey (probably why she was canceled). If I was murdered, I'd want any of these top cops on the case.

But most of them are just dumber than a bag of rocks. For example:

Should Be Working Vice
Why are the male detectives all balding, middle-aged, non-descript gray suits while the female detectives are hot and sassy? Carrie Wells on "Unforgettable" (see photo) wears tops cut down to her navel and 5-inch stiletto boots (along with an annoying, ever-present smirk). If I was a suspect and I saw her coming after me, I'd run. Why? Because she can't catch me if she's wearing 5-inch stiletto boots. With her long, bright red hair, sleeveless low-cut tops and heels, she should be working vice, not homicide.

Sharing is Good For the Soul
Why do cops discuss ongoing investigations in front of, well, everyone? They interview a shop-owner in his store, and then reveal details of the case while he listens on. What if he was involved in the crime? Good thing for him that they're kind enough to let him know exactly how off-track they are.

Mr. Manson, Meet the Parents
Why do cops parade families of victims through the squad room, in plain view of the suspects? "Right this way, Mr. Smith." "Hey...hey...! Is that the scumbag who raped and murdered my daughter?" Always eager to help out, some hapless cop has a firearm handy for the victim's dad to snatch and shoot the suspect. The suspect who turns out to be innocent.

Always Give Fair Warning
This is one of my favorites. Our intrepid detectives are searching for a suspect. They spot him on the street and shout, "Hey, you! FREEZE!" from either a) a block away, b) across a crowded room, or c) when the suspect is within easy reach of a potential hostage. Naturally, the suspect always gets away in the ensuing chaos. If I was a cop, I'd casually saunter up to the suspect, put my gun in his ear, and shout FREEZE! That way, he wouldn't get away and I'd have the added benefit of scaring the shit out of him.

Nah, He'll Never Use the Fire Escape
The entire detective squad is decked out in riot gear, the S.W.A.T. team is present with battering rams, shotguns, and automatic rifles. They bust into the suspect's lair, a gunfight breaks out and...the suspect gets away through a secret tunnel, onto the roof, down a fire escape, etc. Did it not occur to anyone to check the building's blueprint before mounting the assault? (The suspect did.)

It Could Be Ketchup
Why do detectives always have to dip their fingers in a pool of blood and then rub their fingertips together to discover that it is, indeed, blood? Haven't they seen enough blood to know what it looks like? And hello? Blood-borne pathogens? Hepatitis? AIDS? ("Dude, did that paper cut heal yet?")

It Could Be Powdered Sugar
If I was a badass drug dealer and wanted to bump off the entire narcotics division, I'd plant a brick of arsenic-laced cocaine in plain view because I could rest assured that all the cops would whip out their switchblade (they all have one), poke a hole in the pack, and taste the product. A product that could be...PCP perhaps? Or Drano? Or rat poison? And how on earth do they pass a department mandated drug test after they've been sampling smack all week?

No, No, Really – I'm Fine
Det. Curtis shoots a kid by mistake. Later, he slams a suspect against a wall during an interrogation and snarls, "You think I'm done with you? Huh? Well, do ya? Punk!" His captain says, "Um, ok. That's enough, Det. By the way, how's the counseling going?" Is there a TV cop out there who actually welcomes counseling after a traumatic event? And is there a lieutenant or captain who would let their detective carry a gun after seeing him/her go uncharacteristically medieval on some perp's ass?

Better Let 'Em Know We're Here
After an episode's worth of searching, our heroes have finally discovered the location of the mad bomber's hideout. So they head over with sirens blaring and tires screeching to a halt, thus alerting the suspect that the police have arrived. While the team is preparing to bust in the door, the perp is setting a booby-trap bomb and effecting his escape. Which leads us to...

Clear!
No, it's not! Busting into a house, quickly sweeping a room with a flashlight and declaring a room "clear" is just stupid. Did they check the closets, under the bed, the attic, the crawlspace under the house? If I was a bad guy, I wouldn't come out, guns blazing. I'd just hide in the bathtub, because they didn't check there either.

If I Look at You Hard Enough, You'll Confess
If you suspect, but as yet have no proof, that someone's guilty of something, why would you stare them down, thus alerting them that they're under suspicion. "Hmmm... Clearly she knows I'm up to something. So while they're continuing their investigation, I'll eliminate all of the evidence that could possibly implicate me. That way, I'll escape and they can bring me back all season long to not get caught again and again and again and..."

A Few Honorable Mentions...
- Empty threats made against suspects during heated, yet fruitless interrogations
- Insubordinate cops that wouldn't just get fired, they'd be shot
- Unmarked cop cars that look like cop cars ("Hey Vinnie? You think that's a couple of cops in the black Crown Victoria with no hubcaps that's been parked across the street for the past 7 hours?")
- Serial killers that don't get caught
- Unsolved murders of our hero's loved ones (Kate Beckett's mom on "Castle", Patrick Jane's family on "The Mentalist", Carrie Wells' sister on "Unforgettable")

I don't know if it's something in the Police Procedural Writer's Rulebook that says every show has to have this crap, but enough already. Let's get some smart TV cop who wear sensible shoes.

79 comments:

  1. My favorite is still Homicide: Life on the Street. Maybe 'cause it took place in Charm City, but I wasn't quite as enamored w/the Wire-also shot in the big B. I believe it was my love for Detective Frank Pembleton.(Andre Braugher)-an extraordinary character. I was so sad when that show went off the air.

    Generally crime dramas today are too slick and lurid. The detectives are snarky, immune, over-styled ie: David Caruso (Mr. "I'm going to mutter some clever oneliner while I put on my cool shades and walk off into the sunset." )Yuck.

    Frank was vulnerable, flawed, cautious, intense, faithful, sloppy, quiet, thoughtful, angry, awesome-just don't make 'em like that anymore.

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    1. I've always been sorry I never watched "Homicide", 'specially since it took place in our old stomping grounds. ;-) I didn't start watching "Law and Order" (any of em) until they'd been on a few years, but I love em. Smart, (mostly) realistic and unadorned. Just good, solid stories, compelling characters, and no f*ck me pumps!

      I honestly don't mind snarky, jaded, cynical TV detectives unless it's just over-the-top obnoxious. I've gotta believe veterans are pretty immune to a lot of the horrors they see. But all that insubordinate, cowboy-cop BS is tired.

      Loved your comments.

      Oh, and Andre Braugher rocks! In everything.

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    2. David Caruso has always just gagged me. That whole "clever" but not really clever statement then whipping the glasses on or off (I can't remember which) is just too stupid.

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    3. @Denise: "...'clever' but not really clever..." That's hysterical!

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  2. That picture is too funny! I think it's everything that's wrong with TV cops. I'm ready to give up on that show. She's driving me nutso! I'd never be able to just blow my boss off like she does and not be a team player. And she doesn't just blow him off, she does it in a really irritating way. Like she's way smarter than he is and doesn't need to listen to him. She reminds me of a know it all teenager. Irritating!

    I LMAO while I was reading this post. Maybe I should have been crying because it's all so true. They must think either we're really stupid or real cops are.

    Hey, at least Cop Rock didn't last long. Remember it? They sang.

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    1. Your last bit cracked me up. "...remember Cop Rock? They sang." LMAO! I never actually saw an episode, but at least it was mercifully short-lived.

      I like the show "Unforgettable". I really do. But she bugs the living crap out of me because of everything you just said. Christy and I literally talked about last week's episode yesterday. Being able to remember everything you see and hear doesn't make you smarter than everyone. Apparently, it just makes you smug and irritating. She needs a banana clip, a turtleneck and flats. LOL!

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    2. Oh, and a muzzle wouldn't hurt either.

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    3. LMAO! I've never heard of Cop Rock! They really sang? While doing police work? Who's brilliant idea was that, and who gave it the old thumbs up?

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    4. It was Steven "Hill Street Blues", "NYPD Blue" and "LA Law" Bochco who came up with "Cop Rock". I guess they figured if Bochco said it was a good idea, well then by golly, it must be. NOT!

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    5. I know I'm late... but...

      @Denise... be glad you didn't know about Cop Rock... It was terrible. It was Glee meets Law and Order/ NYPD Blue. It was good and terrible... LOL. It lasted one season and had the nerve to air all 11 (?) episodes. Sigh...

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    6. @ShakBlak: Better late than never...;-)

      Good and terrible, huh? I never saw it but Mom said it was just plain awful. I think she watched one episode. LOL! How does the dude that came up with Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue come up with that??? Glee with Guns. At least he tried...

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  3. All of this drives me crazy! I watch shows and see them doing this stupid stuff and wonder why I'm wasting my life watching. Then the next week I repeat it all over again. Why oh why do I keep torturing myself?

    The one that really gets to me is the touching blood with their bare hands. THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT! No way no how! Do you know how many life threatening things you can get if you've got a tiny cut on your finger and the blood is tainted? I just can't stand it!

    And OMG! I never thought about the whole slitting open a bag of drugs and tasting it thing. You're right. They could bump off a whole bunch of cops just by putting something lethal in it. "Oh, what's wrong with Joe?" "I don't know?" "Did he taste the brick to see if it was drugs before he decided to take a nap on the sidewalk?" "Don't know. You should go ahead and taste it just in case he didn't." And another one goes down.

    Great post @Steven! Funny!

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    1. LMFAO!!!

      And so the cycle continues, week after week...;-P

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  4. I'm at work and it was really hard to not laugh out loud about hiding in the bathtub! You're right! LOL!

    That part about sharing in front of people made me think of 4 shows instantly. That is one of the all time dumbest! Are you really talking about that in front of the guy who might be the killer?

    Enough already! Smarten them up for us. Please!

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    1. I blame Reality TV on a lot of this dumbing-down. Shows like "Detroit 1-8-7" and "Prime Suspect" are smart, gritty, realistic, INTELLIGENT shows, and they don't stand a chance because a) the networks don't give them enough time to find an audience ("Cheer" bombed when it debuted and then ran for 10 years; "Seinfeld" bombed and became a cultural icon because it was given a chance). And b) so many people would rather watch "The Bachelorette". UUUUGGHH!!

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    2. And seriously, how many cops gather round the TV and watch their favorite dumb cop shows and keep a score card? "Nope. Nope. Hell no!"

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    3. Yes! They don't give them enough of a chance before they just decide to cancel! I mean not every show is a success straight up. Sometimes they have to figure out things. This goes with @Christy's blog post about quality TV shows. Good posts from both of you!

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    4. I was just watching a show about the 100 Events That Changed Television. "60 Minutes" made the Top 10 because it was ground-breaking TV journalism. It also originally aired on Tuesdays, not Sundays, and nobody watched! 38 years later it's an iconic TV staple.

      And the networks wonder why everyone's switching to Netflix so they can watch old GOOD shows...

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  5. Has anybody thought about making a drinking game out of this? LOL! There are some shows where you wouldn't make it through the whole hour without getting wasted. I'm thinking about Unforgettable. :)

    This was a really fun post. Thanks for another good one @Steven!

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    1. LOL! What night does "Unforgettable" come on? Tuesday? Wednesday, we'd all be hung over. "Oop, I can see her belly button. DRINK!" "She yelled at her boss and tipped off a suspect again. DRINK!" "There! Right there! She smirked annoyingly. DRINK!" "She outran a black kid in 6" heels. DRINK!" LOL!

      Glad you liked the post. And it's nice to see you again, stranger! :-)

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    2. LOL! See! It would totally work! :)

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    3. LMAO! I'm gonna give it a try. Everytime someone does something stupid in Unforgettable I'm gonna take a drink. Bring it! ;)

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    4. "And in a related story... A local woman, identified only as 'Shay', was discovered dead in her home early Wednesday morning. Although evidence is, as yet, inconclusive, sources close to the investigation suspect alcohol poisoning to be the cause of death. In a bizarre twist, a scene from an episode of the CBS drama 'Unforgettable' was seen, paused, on the woman's television. This detail lends the case a striking association with an incident in which a young man was found dead with the words 'Carrie Wells is a 'ho' written in tequila on his glass tabletop."

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    5. LMFAO! That was great @Steven! I'm still laughing!

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  6. All of this is soooo true and sooo funny. Just the laugh I needed today!

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    1. Glad you got a chuckle, mi madre! I watched Castle last night and it wasn't too bad even though I was cringing, waiting for something goofy. But I really am scared to watch Unforgettable. lol!

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  7. This is such an awesome post! How many times have we talked about all the dumb things fictitious cops do? It's enough to drive one mad. Even more maddening, they cancel good shows like Prime Suspect! Sigh...

    Like others here, I watch these shows every week and wonder why I continue. Especially Ms. Unforgettable, Hooker Heels, Montgomery's show. It almost seemed as if they took out a "what not to do" book and went down the list checking off items as they added them to last week's episode. I think part of me keeps watching it because it's like watching a train wreck.

    But it's not the only offender. It's just the worst. Please Hollywood! Give us some believable law enforcement officers! I'm begging you! ;-)

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    1. One thing about Ms. Unforgettable: she's not!

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  8. Unforgettable came on last night but I haven't watched it yet. I'm afraid.

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  9. Great post Steven! I had to laugh. I'm not a big fan of most crime/cop shows, but I have seen enough to nod my head and laugh at every point you made. So true!
    I loved Law and Order: Criminal Intent, and I think it was mostly because the cops on there were actually intelligent and a bit more realistic! (I had a bit of a crush on Det Robert Goren too).

    I know one reason producers/writers make these shows like they are is for drama. Many of these things cause more drama in the show. The low cut tops and 6" heels is apparently sexy...as anyone in the entertainment industry can tell you, sex sells. As for why the cops are so stupid, that has stumped me. Maybe society has become dumber due to those reality shows, thereby the writers/producers think the average audience can't handle intelligent people? Haven't figured that out yet. But I completely agree with you...it's annoying and frustrating.
    It's the same with medical shows too. I can't even tell you how many times my husband has complained about Grey's Anatomy. "they would never do that! That's not how you do that!"

    Excellent post!

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    1. Back in the day, I used to watch a lot of sitcoms (Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart Show, later Cheers) and crime shows like Magnum P.I., Simon & Simon, Hill Street Blues and, later, NYPD Blue.

      I don't watch any sitcoms now and it seems like all the "good" crime shows are gone. Law & Order: SVU is sort of limping along (it's actually gotten a little better, but still...). And the new shows are just dumb! lol!

      And you're right: sex sells. But if I want sex, I'll watch a soap or porn! lol! I can't even imagine what it must be like for your hubby watching medical dramas. I have a friend I got reacquainted with on FB and I picked her brain about a couple of things, and she said there's a lot of, ahem, artistic license in shows like Grey's and even E.R.

      Entertainment...yeesh...;P

      P.S. Are you following my blog? If not, would you consider following? You won't get spammed or anything, but I've been stuck at 37 followers forever and it would nice to see your little face in my followers window. No pressure though. ;-)

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  10. Boy do I miss sitcoms!! I used to love them! I grew up on them (Full House, Punky Brewster, Friends, Growing Pains, etc). I've tried a handful of sitcoms in the last several years, and wow. Hor-ri-ble! Mostly recently we tried Last Man Standing, with Tim Allen. I knew it wasn't going to be a recreation of Home Improvement, but I was hoping for something a bit more, well creative and/or funny. No such luck.

    haha! Well my husband doesn't actually "watch" the med dramas with me. He just happens to be in the same room, playing a computer game while I have control of the TV. He does make his comments though, which I will agree with. There is a LOT of creative license with those shows. I don't watch it though for the medical stuff. (I actually close my eyes when they show the graphic stuff from surgeries!). I love those shows because they are more like, well...soaps! (which is why hubby hates watching it).

    I think in general, all TV Shows have gone downhill. The sitcoms aren't the same, dramas aren't, even movies these days are awful. I mean the Hangover? Really? Big clue right there as to what the majority of people seem to like. Sad.

    No problem on following! I didn't even think to do that. I just have your blog in my bookmarks and check back every few days. I'm following now! :)

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    1. Before I forget again (crazy day!), House is the med drama I asked my friend about. She was emphatic: "NO, NO, NO!!!" LOL!

      Oh man. Don't even get me started on movies. I won't even go into it, but entertainment in general seems to have taken a nose-dive. Maybe it just seems bad because we're older, but I don't really believe that. I think it really is worse. The Bachelorette, Real Housewives of...Everywhere, and granddaddy of them all Survivor. Ugh, I say! Ugh! Now if I was in charge of the studios...lol! (I won't go into that either. Things would probably be worse.)

      Thank you so much for following me! I think it's a blogger thing: it's kinda cool to see more and more of those little avatars show up. Seeming popular to people you've never met is strangely gratifying. LOL!

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  11. New post! New post! New post! Where are you and why aren't you catering to my needs by posting something new before I leave? LOL! ;)

    It would be nice to see something new on here.

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    1. This was the new one! LOL!

      3 days and counting, huh? Excited? Freaked? Freaked and excited?

      I've been swamped this week so I don't think I'm going to have a new post up before your departure. ;-( (And you still haven't checked the email you sent you, dammit!)

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    2. LMAO! I thought you'd post another one. :P

      Yeah. I'm all of the above. I can't believe this is the week!

      Crapadap! I'm going to check it right now! You wouldn't believe how insane-o busy we've been.

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    3. Insanely cute couple! I just have to say. :)

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    4. "Crapadap!" I'm gonna have to remember that one! It's up there with another one of my faves: "F*ckadiddle!" (Don't get to use it very much tho.)

      Glad you fiiiinally looked at the email! And thanks, darlin'. We tryz, we tryz. ;-P

      And I can't believe it's only 3 days til you guys embark to...your embarkation place. Freaky-zeke, man.

      Gonna miss you a lot. :o(

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  12. I had to stop watching Unforgettable because it made me want to shoot my TV due to all the stupid things they did. It was doubly bad when you compared it to Prime Suspect. Maria Bello rocked it out as a badass. Why did it get cancelled? I think a strong female lead is needed now days. Maybe like the guys in her department, people couldn't handle it. Too bad. They didn't seem to do all the dumb cop stuff you have listed.

    The writers need to step it up and give us some smarter cop shows. I'm tired of all the cliches.

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    1. Hear, hear! I like: "Maybe like the guys in her department, people couldn't handle it." I was like, that makes so much sense. lol! Most of the Bachelorette-watching crowd still wants their female cops to look like detectives who moonlight as strippers. (An insult to strippers everywhere.)

      Wish I knew how to start a petition to have Prime Suspect picked up by a cable station. sigh.

      Thanks for stopping by, Jorge!

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    1. This cracked me up! I was like, "What could this comment possibly have to do with dumb TV cops or Jorge's comment?" Answer: Absolutely nothing! LOL!

      Love the lemony fresh scent in here now, though. ;-)

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    2. LOL! I was just being silly. I like my new avatar and wanted to show it off. :) Glad you laughed.

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    3. Well I, for one, am glad you're feeling fresh'n'clean. Next month: Pine! lol!

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  14. Replies
    1. I know! I know! LOL!

      I got swamped with work the last few weeks and haven't had time to write. I'm hoping to have something new up soon though. Just. Not. Sure. What...

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    2. I thought you might have forgotten about us. :)

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    3. You like us! You really like us! LOL! :)

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    4. I do, I do. I luff you all! ;-)

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    5. I hope @Christy doesn't mind. ;) LOL!

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    6. I'll bet she's understanding of his fans @Sarah. LOL! We're her fans too. Or hubby and I are. :)

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    7. They're a nice couple. Ya hear that @Steven? LOL! :)

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    8. She won't mind 'cos none of you are as big a fan of Christy as I am. ♥

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    9. Hey, lemme ask you two something. When do you find yourself coming online to look at my blog? Weekdays? Evenings? Weekend? Or no particular time at all? Just curious...

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    10. I'm on here during the day during the week. Don't tell anybody, but it's while I'm at work. When I'm off I'm usually busy with other stuff offline or I'm on Google+. I subscribe by email so it lets me know when somebody posts something. Is that what you needed to know?

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    11. I'm on during the day mostly because hubby and I have a pretty busy life when we're home.

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    12. Oh yeah. I do the subscribe by email thing too. And I'm usually here during the weekdays, not weekends.

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    13. For a minute it was feeling like the old days. You know when a bunch of people would comment? I miss those days. They were fun. I haven't found anything like that anywhere else. Where did everybody go?

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    14. Cool! That's actually what I thought. When Christy and I post new stuff to our blogs, we usually try to do it on a weeknight, but not Friday 'cos everybody sort of disappears on the weekend. Thanks for the info. ;-)

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    15. It's been sort of a ghost town around here. I've tried to get into Google+ but I can't seem to make friends on there. People don't comment on what I post. :(

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    16. You're welcome @Steven. Yeah if you post it Friday, Saturday, or Sunday I won't see it until Monday or Tuesday during the day.

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    17. Don't feel bad @Michelle. They don't comment on my stuff much either. Sometimes I make a comment on somebody elses that gets a few comments, but mostly people ignore me. :P

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    18. Somehow I missed both your comments, Sarah! Yes, that was exactly the kinda info I was looking for. And I know what you mean; I miss those busy days too. You could always count on Night Owl to post something during the night and it would be here in the morning. Betty Lou, Grey Goose, Sushi Lover, Jana, a lot that I've sort of forgotten. ;-( Maybe a new wave will show up this summer. I'll keep groovin' anyway.

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    19. Yeah don't give up and stop writing. We're still here and still reading! :) I like your blog. I mean you still have people posting comments. It's just not the beehive it was back in the day.

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    20. Yes! Keep groovin' @Steven! I'm reading your blog! :)

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    21. Google+ is just so damn BIG! I don't go on very often, but Christy goes on pretty often. Sometimes she tags me in stuff that I don't even see til she reminds me. "Honey, what did you think of the song I sent you on G+?" "Um...what song...?" lol!

      Between G+ and FB, our blogs and just plain ol' email, it's hard to keep up sometimes.

      But it's been really quiet here in blogland. I'm gonna post something Sunday night. So stay tuned...;-)

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    22. Aw, you guys make me feel so good. Thank you. Thank you for sticking around and reading and commenting. It means a lot to me. This blog has been a really healthy place for me.

      Sarah, weren't you toying with the idea of starting one once upon a time?

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    23. I was thinking about it. I wanted to pass on what I learned when I was going through my tough times. I decided I didn't write well enough and I didn't really want to. LOL! I like reading other blogs.

      I like the stuff @Christy puts on Google+. She hasn't been on much lately though. I guess she's busy?

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    24. Do you know when @Christy is going to post something new on her blog @Steven?

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    25. I think you write very well. But I also thinking that I don't think I'd necessarily want to revisit a place that was as painful as where you were last summer. Kinda like been there, done that. I don't know...

      Christy and I have both been swamped the last 3 and half weeks. When I have lots of computer stuff to do during the day, I don't spend much time on the computer after hours. Plus - Christy broke her toe a couple days ago so she's not lovin' life right now. We're Skype-cooking dinner together tonight, so that'll be nice. And during lunch today, she proofread the thing I'm gonna post Sunday night.

      @Michelle: I don't know when Christy's gonna post something new on her blog. We're both behind. But if the dish we're making tonight turns out, maybe she can post the recipe. Pork with Garlic Cream Sauce. Sounds yummy if we don't screw it up! lol!

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    26. I guess he's gone @Michelle. LOL! :) It's just you and me.

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    27. Oh! That sounds so good! I love her recipes that she's been posting! It's my favorite thing! I hope she posts more! :) I'm trying to build a good list of things to cook so I don't do the same things over and over again.

      I think it's so sweet that you're still cooking together long-distance. When are you two going to make it short-distance? :)

      Sorry about her toe. I've broken a couple of mine a few times and it isn't fun. It takes so long to heal and you can't do a darn thing about it.

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    28. We overlapped! But now I really am going. I have to start dicing and slicing to prep for tonight's culinary experiment. Fingers crossed...;-P

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    29. Thanks @Steven. I think I write OK for comments but not well enough for a blog. And you're right about not going back.

      The dish you two are cooking sounds great! I hope @Christy shares it! I've tried some of her recipes and love them!

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    30. Okay, after this I really am going! lol!

      @Michelle: Christy broke the same toe about a month ago, so it probably wasn't even fully healed. All she can do limp around and take ibuprofen.

      It's funny -- we were just talking about the long-distance thing. We really don't know when one of us is going to move to the other's town. I love the fact that we've put technology to such good, positive use, but even Skyping gets old when you'd rather be sitting on the couch next to your honey instead of staring at a computer monitor. Plus we end up making TWO of every meal we do together!

      She'll be tickled you both like the recipes she's posted so far. We've made a bunch of good stuff. I'll ask her if she'll post more (I'm sure she will).

      @Sarah: If you had some burning issue that you wanted to get down on paper (so to speak), I think you'd be surprised at how well you'd write it. It doesn't all come out perfect the first time either. Sometimes you have to massage it a bit. And it doesn't hurt to have a kick-ass editor/proofreader. (aka Christy)

      Okay. I'm going. Really. Outta here. Hasta la vista. Leaving. ;-P

      (This was fun though, @Michelle and @Sarah!)

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