Friday, May 18, 2012

Ella Mae

Ella Mae Blount 1912-2012
My grandma passed away yesterday. She was 99-and-a-half years old and died peacefully while asleep in her own bed. She was healthy and happy and clear of mind and spirit when she died.

After my mom called and told me Grandma had died, I unpaused the TV show I was watching and continued. I thought it might distract me from the news I'd just gotten. But it didn't. (Big surprise.) So I turned it off and I just...sat. My grandma and I weren't close, but neither were we distant. We simply lived across the country from each other and didn't communicate often. But I loved her dearly and I like to think that I was a decent grandson, especially during the last few years of her life.

As I sat on my couch, what I thought about was her life and her death. She was nearly a century old. A century! She was born just 9 years after Orville and Wilbur learned to fly. She witnessed the birth of commercial aviation and saw Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. She was around when a telephone still weighed about 4 pounds, only came in one color and didn't have a prayer of fitting into a handbag or a pocket. She had a typewriter and sent letters and didn't have a computer and never sent an email. She heard movies go from silent to sound and saw them go from black and white to color. She listened to radio and then watched television. She sang to herself and then got a phonograph and then a cassette player and then a CD player. (No iPod for Grandma, though.)

My grandma lived through World Wars I and II. She lived through Korea and Vietnam. She survived every disease known to modern man either because she never caught it or simply kicked its ass. She wasn't killed by a mugger or a drunk driver or a heart attack or a stroke. She was born in a time when it was nearly unlivable to be black in America and she saw the modern civil rights movement make life a bit better.

She raised 2 sons who then raised children of their own, who then raised children of their own. She was all of 5'-2", had a thick silver braid down to her butt, and I can't pull up a mental image of her face without a smile on it. She said her trick to keeping a clean house was to put things down where they belong. And she said that every disagreement isn't worth arguing about.

When I think about death, the idea of dying doesn't bother me that much. I think what frightens me is how I'll die. Will it be painful? Will I be alone? Will it take long? Will it be after a protracted illness while I'm lying in a hospital bed attached to machines and surrounded by strangers?

My grandmother died peacefully and painlessly while asleep in her own bed. That's how I could go. So for today, I'm not quite as frightened as I was.

Thanks, Grandma.


38 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, but what a sweet tribute to your grandma.

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  2. You and your family are in my prayers. This is a very nice post about your grandma. She saw so much in her life and she looks like such a cute lady.

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    1. Thank you, Denise. She did see a lot. We spoke on the phone for over an hour last Mother's Day and I was amazed at how sharp she was. We talked about marriage and divorce and a lot in between. She was just as sharp the day she died. And yup, she was cute as a button! ;-)

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  3. My hubby and I are thinking about you and your family in your time of loss @Steven. She sounds like a lovely lady. I love her long silver braid! She's so pretty! Your post is amazing. I think she's looking down and very proud of you.

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    1. Your comment got me a little choked up, @Michelle. I do hope she's proud of me. I remember when I hadn't seen her for years and then saw her braid for the first time and I was like, "Wow! You go Grandma!" ;-)

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  4. Great post about your grandma. Me and the wife are saying a little prayer for you and yours right now. We're sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, @Goose. I appreciate you and the wife keeping me and my family in your prayers.

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  5. "To live in hearts we leave behind
    Is not to die."

    - Thomas Campbell

    I believe that, and you've proven that with what you wrote. She will live on in your heart.

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    1. What a wonderful quote. And what a wonderful compliment. Thank you.

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  6. Blessing to you. It's a lovely eulogy.

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  7. This makes me miss my grandma. You have my deepest sympathies. Keep remembering her with her smile.

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    1. I think the missing is gonna creep up on me over the next few days, especially Tuesday, which is when her funeral is. Thank you for your comment.

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  8. Condolences. Thought provoking post.

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  9. I'm sorry for your loss. You wrote a very moving essay to her.

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    1. Thank you so much, Maya. I can't take much credit for what I wrote. It's pretty easy to gush about a woman as amazing as she was.

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  10. I hope your whole family reads this. It's so touching! I don't know you or your family, but if I did, I'd suggest it be read at the service.

    Condolences.

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    1. What an amazing compliment, Kendra. Thank you, and thank you for the condolence. I won't be able to attend Grandma's funeral, but I'm sure my dad will say something similar. I'm going to ask him to read my post when he returns home after the service.

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  11. Replies
    1. Thank you, Linda. And thanks for posting a comment...finally. ;-)

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss. Well done on the post.

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    1. Hey Jorge, nice to see you again. Thank you for the sympathy and the compliment. See you again soon, under more pleasant circumstances.

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    1. Thank you so much, Jamie. I appreciate the thought.

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  14. Very nice tribute. I'm sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you, Cheryl. I appreciate you stopping by.

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  15. This was really really very nice. I cried a lot yesterday, and this made me cry again but in a different way because it was beautifully written.

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    1. Thanks, Mom. I'm glad it gave you a few of the other kind of tears.

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  16. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you and your family. It was a beautiful tribute to your grandma; she seemed like a very special lady.

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  17. no matter how young or old, if someone leaves us, it is always a loss, I am sorry for that.

    How wonderful to have someone say things like that when you go. She must have made lots of things right.

    A great advantage to have had such a person in your life. Someone who has LIVED her life. A life rich of memories and experience. I hope she was able to leave feeling that she had a full life.

    I envy you, Steven. :-)

    I was once very sick. Death came by and said hi. Not being religious in any strict sense I know ever since, for myself, dying is a passage. I was not afraid then, and I treasure the memory.

    And I hope, that if things turn out to be unbearable, I will be able to decide what will happen.

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    1. Thank you, sorei. You're right - the death of a loved one is always a loss, even when it's a peaceful passing. But I was lucky to have known my grandmother. Hearing the opinions and insights of someone nearly a century old is a rare gift.

      I'm sorry you were so ill at one time, but I'm glad that the experience gave you a wisdom that many never know. I suspect that's rare too.

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    1. I'm sorry too. But she's in a good place now.

      And it's good to see you out and about!!!

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